How much of your day is spent either 1) trying to make yourself do something you really don’t want to do, or 2) avoiding doing that thing you don’t want to force yourself to do (and feeling guilty about it)?
In truth, this is most of the day for many people. Trying to coerce ourselves to do stuff.
So a few things to say about coercing ourselves:
- It doesn’t work really well — we’ll put up a lot of resistance if we’re trying to force ourselves.
- Even if you can do it, it’s super not fun!
- And then when you’re done forcing yourself, you have to do it again. Over and over again. Hoping to do everything “right” but usually feeling like you’re not doing it “right.”
OK, so let’s say you’re convinced that coercing yourself to do things doesn’t work. Then what? Do we just never do the boring things? Just always avoid facing the hard things?
That’s not what we want either, because most people reading this wants to be out doing meaningful, impactful, sometimes hard and scary things. So how do we do that without coercion?
Play might just be the answer.
Let me describe the powerful effects of Play in this context, and then talk a bit about how to bring Play into your life.
The Powerful Effects of Play
When we’re up to meaningful, difficult, interesting, scary things … coercion is one answer. Avoidance is another. And Play is yet another possibility.
Here’s what happens when we bring Play into doing all of our hard, meaningful tasks:
- Instead of dreading a task, you start to get excited about playing with the task.
- Instead of looking for the possibilities of failure, you start looking for the opportunities for fun, for exploration, for adventure.
- Your day becomes less of a slog and more of a playground.
- You focus less on doing things the “right” way and more on trying new things out and seeing what works. You get less perfectionist and give yourself more permission to make messes.
- You focus more on learning and growing than needing to stay safe.
- You feel more alive — instead of just churning through endless tasks, you’re trying new things, stepping into the unknown, seeing what works and what doesn’t. It can feel thrilling.
- You learn more — instead of worrying about doing things right, you let yourself try new ways of doing things, and let yourself fall on your face, because that’s a part of the Play.
These are the powerful effects of Play. Let’s look at how you might start to incorporate Play into your day.
How to Bring Play Into Your Life
At this point, you might start to ask, “OK, so how do I play? Just give me the answers!” But knowing the answer is the safe way, not the way of Play.
Instead, try things out for yourself, and see what you can discover! Be playful in bringing Play into your life!
That said, here are some ideas to start you out:
- When you do a task, ask, “How can I turn this into Play?” Maybe some music, maybe try things out a new way, maybe let yourself stumble and fall a bit, maybe turn it into a game.
- When you have free time — even 10 minutes — instead of going to your usual distractions or seeing how you can use the time productively … ask yourself what would be fun? How can you turn this small time into a bit of Play?
- Invite others to play with you — young kids are always down to play (they’re our models for Play!), but you can invite your partner, your family, your friends. How can you invite people you work with to play?
- Try to see if you can do your usual things in a new way. Get inventive! Instead of walking home the usual way, try a randomly selected path. Instead of just getting through your email, can you do it with more Play? Instead of doing chores or errands the usual way, can you get creative with them?
- Some words to prompt you: Adventure. Dance. Games. Creativity. Invention. Stumbling around like a toddler learning to walk. Exploration. Discovery. Joy!
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